I dreamed a dream
by Chocolate2011
Summary: Jane & Lisbon meet at the Brewer Cafe on the first Tuesday of every month. This month their conversation takes a reflective turn as they ponder what might have been.


I dreamed a dream

Lisbon and Jane have been coming to the _Brewer Cafe_ on the first Tuesday of the month for five months now. There is no pre-arrangement. No last minute texts to confirm. They just sort of arrive; by mutual agreement. It is usually done while they were still working a case and they come to the cafe partly because it is convenient; but mostly because it was Jane's opinion that the _Brewer_ "makes the best tea in town" while also allowing Lisbon to enjoy her lattes.

"You're quiet." Says Lisbon.

"So?" Jane replies, unphased.

"That's never a good thing." She smiles.

"You wanted to join the army." Jane observes, startling his colleague.

"No I don't." She replies, immediately defensive.

"Wanted. Past tense." He reaffirms. "Why didn't you?"

"That's a little personal." She should be angry with him but she cannot meet his eyes.

"That's a shame." He says. "You would have made a good soldier."

"What would you have done?" She asks, probing.

"I would have kicked the bastard out of town." He's alluring to an incident that she has not told him about and doesn't want to talk about.

"No, I meant for yourself." She gives him a friendly punch over the shoulder. "Don't tell me that you would have been a psychic for the rest of your life."

"Ah, it pays the bills." Jane waves his hand in a gesture of false modesty.

"It does a lot more than that." Lisbon laughs.

"My wife and I used to..." Jane is thoughtful but then he drops the sentence altogether.

"You still do." Lisbon observes, this time taking Jane by surprise.

"It's not going to happen." The humour has gone from Jane's voice.

"Maybe it still can." His colleague suggests.

"There's no point." The mentalist shakes his head.

"You like this." Says Lisbon suddenly.

"Yes, it's to my taste." Jane points to his tea.

"You know what I mean." Lisbon shakes her head. "You like being the renegade."

"And you like being in charge."Says Jane.

"Hey, I'm not the one denying it." She laughs. "On, a more serious note though. When you're ready for it, we have to see a lawyer."

"The DA's office called you again." Jane assumes.

"Yes, they did call me in fact but don't assume that every conversation we have is about you." Lisbon rolls her eyes.

"No, just the other ninety percent of the conversation." He muses.

"You know that your will has not changed since your daughter was born." She tries to reason with him.

"I'm not terminally ill and last time I checked, my driving never hurt anybody." Jane replies.

"Doesn't matter." Says Lisbon, feeling mean but knowing that it had to be said. "You're leaving your assets to the two people who can no longer benefit from them."

"What do you propose? That I give it to charity?" Jane's eyes narrowed.

"What she wanted you to do, you can still do it." Says Lisbon, kindly.

"She's not going to see it." He says, dismissive.

"Why do we dream?" Lisbon asks.

"Because our brain is programmed to go through different stages of sleep and REM is one of them." Jane replies.

"Okay, why do we engage in wild visions of a time yet to come then?" Lisbon rolls her eyes.

"Because we were young and foolish." The consultant says firmly.

"She might be gone but what you wanted with her is still there." The agent advises wisely.

"I wanted more time." Jane finishes his cup. "She'll never get any."

I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high  
And life worth living  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid  
And dreams were made and used and wasted  
There was no ransom to be paid  
No song unsung, no wine untasted

_But the tigers come at night_  
_With their voices soft as thunder_  
_As they tear your hope apart_  
_As they turn your dream to shame_

And still I dream they'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.


End file.
